Wibble-wobble

Hideously obese people make me laugh sometimes. It's amazing that some of these fatties are so ignorant of what they're doing to themselves that they'll complain about being out of breath after the 50 yard waddle they've had from the car and then buy a metric shitload of chocolate/sweets/crisps. Then to pay lip service to "healthy" eating, they'll grab a bottle of diet coke too.

First of all tubby, perhaps if you walked the few hundred yards (I know where you live you lazy bastard) from your house instead of driving you'd be less wheezy.

Secondly, drinking diet drinks does not magically remove all of the calories from the family size choccy bar and large tube of pringles you're no doubt going to shove into your gob as soon as you get home.

Thirdly, saying something along the lines of "Oooh, I know I shouldn't but...." doesn't excuse you. If you know you shouldn't eat for three people then why are you?

Finally, the worst offender of the lot is the blubberguts who does all the above and the adds "I know I shouldn't eat this stuff, I'm diabetic." It's surprisingly common sadly.

Obviously, this is a bit on the hypocritical side as I'm not waif-like myself and I'm selling this stuff. If it's any consolation, I have put up the prices of junk food in order to reduce the amount that these fatties can afford*. My own fat-tax if you like. This works especially well with the kiddies. Children invariably have a limited amount of cash to spend each day. Needless to say, saving this cash isn't on the agenda so they do their best to spend the lot. To the penny. It can takes ages for some kids to work out how to spend their one pound exactly. This is why having a few penny sweets is a great money spinner. They wouldn't normally look twice at this sort of thing but if they've got 3p left over, then by god they're going to spend it on something. I'd hate to have to deal with these kids while in the middle of a full blown sugar-rush. Hyperactive bastards. Even worse must be the aftermath of energy drink consumption. Yup, I'll sell Red Bull to kids. If they can afford it. I charge a shitload.

*Prices of non-junk food put up too. And everything else in the shop actually. Hey, I gotta make a living.