NEWSFLASH - Most boring stamp collector ever discovered!!!!

Stamps collectors are pretty dull people. However, you can kind of see the appeal if you've nothing better to do.

Personally, I don't really see the point of collecting stuff arbitrarily just so you know that you own it.

Picture stamps are borderline worth collecting as they might go up in value a bit. Unlikely though.

Normal stamps are dull to look at and not worth shit (except the face value of course).

We've just had someone in who was looking for a 5p stamp with the tear-off edges still intact AND showing an April 2007 printing date. We've probably got some in the safe but there's no way I'm waiting for the safe to open, going to the effort of getting them out of the safe, checking our stash of 5p stamps and then buggering up our system for counting our stamp stocks just so some twat can go home and wank himself senseless just he's now got the complete set of 5p stamps. I'd make a profit of fractions of a penny even assuming that our stamps are good enough.

Seriously though get a fucking life. When did you last have sex?

Dullard.

The media are cunts

Just a quick "thank-you" to all of the journalists and media types who have been harping on about credit crunches and recessions for the past fucking ages.

Cheers.

It's worked. You've managed to scare people away from spending money. More specifically, spending money in my Post Office.

Thanks to the constant bombardment of "every one's going to lose their jobs" and "your house is now worth marginally less than the cardboard box that you're gonna be sleeping in soon" everyone is now shit-scared about spending money. Not just those tiny minority that are in a small danger of getting the boot. Everyone. Including the pensioners who, correct me if I'm incorrect, are pretty unlikely to get made redundant.

Fortunately, my village is fairly well off. Not completely posh (we have our own ghetto where all the dole cheats live and a caravan site for the gypsies) but pretty safe from all but the worst economic downturn. However, all of the news in every form of popular media has been ramming this message of doom and gloom down our throats despite the evidence saying that things are not perfect but we're a long way away from the shit. What's annoyed me even more are the journos that have said "If we're not careful, we're gonna talk ourselves into a recession so we're not going to exaggerate. But we are totally fucked. I personally am stockpiling food and water and electricity for the inevitable breakdown in society that's gonna happen. In the meantime, I'm making extra cash by whoring out the wife."

Having spoken to some of my customers, it's purely because of what the hear on the news that they've stopped spending. They've paid attention to the huge "Economic clusterfuck" graphic that the BBC seems to be displaying for approximately half of each bulletin. Yet they seem to have missed out on the scant details that the media occasionally (and apparently accidentally) leave in their broadcasts. Allow me to summarise for the hard of thinking.

Things are a bit iffy for those in the manufacturing sector.

Loans and mortgages are a bit harder to get and a bit more expensive.

Inflation has gone up a bit but will probably come down as fuel prices sink and eventually household bills will also drop.

Interest rates will come down probably.

House prices have come down but were far too fucking high anyway. They will bounce back in a few years.

Things aren't so bad as you're led to believe.

If people do stop spending money, then we are gonna get shafted. If we keep spending (sensibly without borrowing what we can't afford) we're gonna reduce the effects of any downturn.

Old people generally smell and are stupid.

There you go, you're now much more informed than if you'd been reading the papers or watching telly. Cynic that I am, I reckon that a lost of the power behind the Media have a vested interest in temporarily sending the economy down the crapper for a while. It'll make everything cheaper for them so they can hoover up stuff when it hits rock bottom and then sell it at the peak just before they start the next round of stories about how everything's fucked again. And so the cycle continues. Plus, scary news sells papers.

So, next time you see any journalist, punch them in the face until they promise to stop scaring everyone.

Cunts.

Regulars - Mrs TMI

Mrs TMI is one of those old people who feels the need to share her medical problems with anyonw who'll listen. She doesn't even have to courtesy to wait until you ask her how she is. Not that I would anyway. Some customers you just don't ask how they are because you know that they're gonna tell you and that'll be five minutes of your life that you won't ever get back.

Mrs TMI will launch into an update of how her latest appointment at the hospital went as soon as you've said hello. It's not just generalities like "it went well today" or whatever. Nope, it's in as much pointless detail as she possibly can.

This is all made even worse by the fact that it's a problem with her lady-parts.

Seriously, I don't want to hear about your womb. Are the doctors removing it? Cysts? Tumours?

I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!

It's not as if she was ever one of the few customers who I actually like (honest, there are one or two). I never led her on into thinking I gave a fuck. I do my best to make non-committal grunts and disinterested expressions whenever she gives me the latest updcates. Subtle hints just aren't working.

It must suck having these medical problems. Does whingeing about them to anyone who'll listen and most who'd rather not help at all? Doesn't she get bored of, presumably, having the same conversation with everyone she meets?