When we've stamped up an item of mail for a customer it has to be put into the correct mail sack.
In order to help out the lazy bastards that sort the mail, we have to do a half-arsed pre-sort of the mail. There are four different sacks that we have to file things in. First class packets, second class packets, priority mail and everything else.
How exactly that makes much of a difference to the amount of sorting hat the mail centre monkeys have to beats me but there you go. No doubt some manager came up with the idea in order to pay lip service to cost savings and also to help justify his existence.
Anyway, we have a fifth bag. It's not as well-used as the other mail bags but it is very important.
It's the Fuck You Bag.
It's sole purpose is to have mail in that we want to delay. When we have our last collection of mail in the afternoon, we're supposed to make sure that everything we've been handed goes off so it gets to it's destination asap. For some inexplicable reason, the Fuck You Bag seems to hide until just a little too late so it has to go out the next day.
There are a few crimes that you can commit and have your mail put in the Fuck You Bag.
The first is being one of several annoying customers. There are a few regulars who's mail generally goes in the Fuck You Bag. Not all of their mail ends up in the Fuck You Bag, even the most fuck-witted would notice that it never arrives next day. Nope, we only select whatever looks the most important and hold that back.
The next crime is being too over eager for your mail to get into today's collection. If you come in at 9:30 in the morning and ask me whether you've missed the last mail collection already, then I'm afraid even though you're on time, you mail is going in the Fuck You Bag. I mean, please exercise some common sense here. If we're open until 5:30 then (despite the general shitness of Royal Mail) it's fairly likely that there's gonna be a later collection than 9:30. Sadly, far too many people ask this question so over to you Fuck You Bag.
The final thing that's gonna get your mail delayed is the most annoying (from my point of view). If you come in here and tell me that your item of mail must get there the next day or else without fail and then you decided that special delivery (our guaranteed next day service) is too expensive and then you can guess where your item of mail is going. Yup, the Fuck You Bag. It may seem petty but I'm trying to teach you a lesson. If you want something there the next day, then pay for the right service. Tight arses.
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Thursday, 20 August 2009
The HMRC Website is Shite
Don't ask why, it'd be too dull for words. Just take my word for it that it's fucking shite.
A more cynical person than me would suggest that it's deliberate so they can charge people for failing to submit returns in time even though there were done over a month early and they didn't bother to tell me that the form had been bounced.
Wankers.
A more cynical person than me would suggest that it's deliberate so they can charge people for failing to submit returns in time even though there were done over a month early and they didn't bother to tell me that the form had been bounced.
Wankers.
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Why Royal Mail/Post Office is Fucked part II
I was going to keep this to a one part special but some things have happened that have managed to break through my icy cool demeanour and annoy me a bit. Because that's very difficult to do you understand.
Firstly, the union seem to be hell bent of going through with more strikes just because they've been told that the posties will have to do a reasonable amount of work for a change.
What riles the buggery fuck out of me is that being a postman is actually really well paid for unskilled labour. If they're willing to put the hours in, work hard and do plenty of overtime a postman can easily earn over £30,000 per year. Not bad for fuckwits really.
It's just a crying shame that a lot of the work force aren't hard working. There are plenty that work at the minimum speed possible and then moan that they can't finish the round in their allotted time. You could understand if they have a particularly big/hard round but no. Some of the rounds that my posties do are fucking easy. I can tell this as the relief posties who cover time off seem to finish them really rather quickly without exerting themselves to death. Yet are these people listened to when it comes to reworking the rounds to make them fairer? What do you think?
The answer is no.
The only people who are listened to when it comes to reworking the rounds are the lazy moany ones. The sort who spend half their time on the phone to management complaining that they can't get the round finished in the allotted time.
One thing that doesn't get taken in to account, seemingly ever, is the fact that if the posties finish early then they can go home. It's far more common that they finish early and get to bugger off two hours early than they're busy and need to stay a bit later.
So, to conclude, Posties, you don't know how lucky you are. Or at least you don't yet but given a few more strikes and Royal Mail will gradually slide down the shitter and you'll all be fucked. You wait until there's a glut of unemployed posties out their and just see how good the wages and working conditions you're offered are. I'll give you a hint, they'll be fucking shit compared to what you've got now.
Then we get to Post Office management. I think I'll save my bile on this subject for another post but I'll give you a few excerpts below:
"Twats"
"incompetent"
"waste of space"
"the"
Firstly, the union seem to be hell bent of going through with more strikes just because they've been told that the posties will have to do a reasonable amount of work for a change.
What riles the buggery fuck out of me is that being a postman is actually really well paid for unskilled labour. If they're willing to put the hours in, work hard and do plenty of overtime a postman can easily earn over £30,000 per year. Not bad for fuckwits really.
It's just a crying shame that a lot of the work force aren't hard working. There are plenty that work at the minimum speed possible and then moan that they can't finish the round in their allotted time. You could understand if they have a particularly big/hard round but no. Some of the rounds that my posties do are fucking easy. I can tell this as the relief posties who cover time off seem to finish them really rather quickly without exerting themselves to death. Yet are these people listened to when it comes to reworking the rounds to make them fairer? What do you think?
The answer is no.
The only people who are listened to when it comes to reworking the rounds are the lazy moany ones. The sort who spend half their time on the phone to management complaining that they can't get the round finished in the allotted time.
One thing that doesn't get taken in to account, seemingly ever, is the fact that if the posties finish early then they can go home. It's far more common that they finish early and get to bugger off two hours early than they're busy and need to stay a bit later.
So, to conclude, Posties, you don't know how lucky you are. Or at least you don't yet but given a few more strikes and Royal Mail will gradually slide down the shitter and you'll all be fucked. You wait until there's a glut of unemployed posties out their and just see how good the wages and working conditions you're offered are. I'll give you a hint, they'll be fucking shit compared to what you've got now.
Then we get to Post Office management. I think I'll save my bile on this subject for another post but I'll give you a few excerpts below:
"Twats"
"incompetent"
"waste of space"
"the"
Thursday, 13 August 2009
My Neighbour Is a Lovely, Lovely Man
You know when you've moved next to a fantastic neighbour when the first time you meet him, he's shouting and swearing at you because a Royal Mail van is parked in our shared driveway. Especially as Royal Mail vans have been parking in said driveway for years and years and he knew that full well when he moved here.
You could understand his annoyance if he was being blocked in/out for excessive periods of time or if he needed to get out, the posties refused to move the vans.
What I can't really understand is why the stupid twunt feels the need to come out every time someone is parked in the drive regardless of whether he's going anywhere or not.
Since I've been here we've even reduced the amount of times vans park in the drive. It's only once per day while unloading first thing in the morning. So he's actually had about a 90% reduction in the amount of Royal Mail vehicles that may potentially block him in.
Another thing I can't understand is the way he acts whenever he feels he's blocked in. Instead of asking politely for the offending driver to move, his first persuasive weapon of choice is shouting and swearing and generality acting like a fucking cunt.
I've always tried to diffuse the situations and have so far only had one stand-up shouty row with him as he keeps threatening to take legal action and ban all access for anyone but him on the shared bit of driveway. How he stands legally, I'm not really sure because, as I said, it's shared driveway and part of it is owned by me (I checked the deeds very carefully). Whether we'd win or not in a legal dispute is hardly the point, I just don't want the hassle.
What I also don't want, ideally, is some shouty stroppy wanker living next door to me but there's nowt I can do about it.
The other day, I bore witness to his greatest episode of throwing his toys out of the pram.
We have a customer who pays in a fair amount of cash and brings in a few large parcels every week. Due to the double yellow lines and the fact that he's carrying a few grand too, he parks in my half of the driveway. He can't park all the way in my section as he still needs to open the boot of the car (due to the tight space, you need to reverse in). Sadly his arrival coincided with the wanker next door needing to go out.
In his usual reasonable and pleasant way the first thing that stroppy McNeighbour-twat said was "fuck off off my land."
Diplomatic as ever.
Two things to point out here. The customer wasn't actually parked on the neighbours land at all and he wasn't actually blocking him in either. As the customer is a pleasant and considerate chap, he's parked so that neighbour could get out without any problems.
This wasn't good enough for Neighbour McChildish so he stormed into the sorting office and started swearing and shouting at the posties, despite it being nothing to do with him. One of them came to fetch me so I had to go and calm everything down.
A few more minutes of Neighbour O'Tossbag shouting at Customer McReasonable ensued and was ended finally when Neighbour McCuntyfuckhead got in his car and drove off. At no point did the customer move his car as he didn't need to as it was parked on my part of the driveway and, as ably demonstrated by Neighbour O'Bastardpants, wasn't actually blocking him in.
The neighbours big gripe about people blocking him in is that he needs to get in out and out of the driveway and doesn't want to be delayed. Surely in this case he delayed himself by all the unnecessary shouting.
What a fucking cock.
You could understand his annoyance if he was being blocked in/out for excessive periods of time or if he needed to get out, the posties refused to move the vans.
What I can't really understand is why the stupid twunt feels the need to come out every time someone is parked in the drive regardless of whether he's going anywhere or not.
Since I've been here we've even reduced the amount of times vans park in the drive. It's only once per day while unloading first thing in the morning. So he's actually had about a 90% reduction in the amount of Royal Mail vehicles that may potentially block him in.
Another thing I can't understand is the way he acts whenever he feels he's blocked in. Instead of asking politely for the offending driver to move, his first persuasive weapon of choice is shouting and swearing and generality acting like a fucking cunt.
I've always tried to diffuse the situations and have so far only had one stand-up shouty row with him as he keeps threatening to take legal action and ban all access for anyone but him on the shared bit of driveway. How he stands legally, I'm not really sure because, as I said, it's shared driveway and part of it is owned by me (I checked the deeds very carefully). Whether we'd win or not in a legal dispute is hardly the point, I just don't want the hassle.
What I also don't want, ideally, is some shouty stroppy wanker living next door to me but there's nowt I can do about it.
The other day, I bore witness to his greatest episode of throwing his toys out of the pram.
We have a customer who pays in a fair amount of cash and brings in a few large parcels every week. Due to the double yellow lines and the fact that he's carrying a few grand too, he parks in my half of the driveway. He can't park all the way in my section as he still needs to open the boot of the car (due to the tight space, you need to reverse in). Sadly his arrival coincided with the wanker next door needing to go out.
In his usual reasonable and pleasant way the first thing that stroppy McNeighbour-twat said was "fuck off off my land."
Diplomatic as ever.
Two things to point out here. The customer wasn't actually parked on the neighbours land at all and he wasn't actually blocking him in either. As the customer is a pleasant and considerate chap, he's parked so that neighbour could get out without any problems.
This wasn't good enough for Neighbour McChildish so he stormed into the sorting office and started swearing and shouting at the posties, despite it being nothing to do with him. One of them came to fetch me so I had to go and calm everything down.
A few more minutes of Neighbour O'Tossbag shouting at Customer McReasonable ensued and was ended finally when Neighbour McCuntyfuckhead got in his car and drove off. At no point did the customer move his car as he didn't need to as it was parked on my part of the driveway and, as ably demonstrated by Neighbour O'Bastardpants, wasn't actually blocking him in.
The neighbours big gripe about people blocking him in is that he needs to get in out and out of the driveway and doesn't want to be delayed. Surely in this case he delayed himself by all the unnecessary shouting.
What a fucking cock.
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
It's Soapbox Time Again
Between the union, Royal Mail management and the government I think this company is going to be pretty fucked pretty quickly.
The union is to blame as despite bleating that they are happy to help modernise Royal Mail, as soon as any jobs or the cushy working conditions the posties have are threatened, they strike. Every time there's a strike, the negative publicity drives more customers away from us. The net result being that there's less income from sending mail and therefore less money to be spunked onto the posties and so more strikes. As one of my customers said to a postman yesterday (regarding the new batch of strikes that are springing up around the country):
"You're all a bunch of communist bastards that should be shot."
Quite.
Royal Mail management play a huge role in the decline of this business. Partly thanks to the union, they haven't effectively modernised the mail sorting or delivering for years. I had a tour of one of the larger mail centres recently and most of the machines there look like they were from the 70's. Most of the mail is actually sorted by hand. You can't tell me that this is a good use of resources. There are plenty of other reasons why management are shite. They just can't work out how to save money either. They made a postie redundant at a local sorting office recently in order to re-arrange the rounds and make do with one less postie.
Sounds good?
Nope. That particular postie was nine months away from retirement. The redundancy package he got was nearly two years wages. So, had they waited for the postie to retire they wouldn't have had to pay out the redundancy package therefore saving about fifteen months of wages. This sort of shit goes on all of he time too, it's by no means an isolated incident of fuckwittedness.
Finally the government have done a load to flush Royal Mail down the crapper too. For years, the Royal Mail pension fund was profitable. Someone decided that he needed to raid that in order to spunk it all up the wall (hint, he's running the country). So, now Royal Mail is faced with a multi billion pension fund deficit. Meanwhile Mr Brown just shrugs his shoulders and says "meh."
Deregulation of the mail industry is taking it's toll too. In order to open up the mails market to competition (something that the EU told us all to do but most European nations seem to be ignoring, funny that) Royal Mail was ordered to deliver mail from other companies. Companies that are able to cherry-pick the most profitable mail routes and customers and aren't burdened by the universal service obligation that Royal Mail is. To add insult to injury, the price that Royal Mail charges these companies is set by the postal regulator and that price is set slightly lower than the cost of delivery. Nice one!
Then we come to Lord Mandleson. Despite his assurances that the Post Office network will be given more government work to do, we're actually getting less and less. The TV licence went to someone else a few years ago. Car taxes are being so heavily promoted tat you can do them online, you can barely make out the text that says you can do them at most Post Offices. Pensions and benefits used to account for a huge swathe of our income. Not no more. In the drive to get people to have them paid into their bank accounts, loads of people were not given the option of a Post Office Card Account. Even now, some job centres are refusing to issue the paperwork to open these accounts as they believe that they're being phased out next year.
Nope, it's not being phased out, it's just changing. We all knew this nearly a year ago. So why has this message not been passed onto the appropriate agencies?
Well, take your pick, conspiracy or incompetence. Both are just as likely.
The annoying thing is that Royal Mail and Post Office ltd are great assets to this country and run properly have a massive positive effect and can generate huge income. Sadly no one can be bothered or is competent enough to do anything other than manage the decline of this company.
Rant over. Normal service will be resumed soon when I write about how much customers are stupid and that they irritate me.
The union is to blame as despite bleating that they are happy to help modernise Royal Mail, as soon as any jobs or the cushy working conditions the posties have are threatened, they strike. Every time there's a strike, the negative publicity drives more customers away from us. The net result being that there's less income from sending mail and therefore less money to be spunked onto the posties and so more strikes. As one of my customers said to a postman yesterday (regarding the new batch of strikes that are springing up around the country):
"You're all a bunch of communist bastards that should be shot."
Quite.
Royal Mail management play a huge role in the decline of this business. Partly thanks to the union, they haven't effectively modernised the mail sorting or delivering for years. I had a tour of one of the larger mail centres recently and most of the machines there look like they were from the 70's. Most of the mail is actually sorted by hand. You can't tell me that this is a good use of resources. There are plenty of other reasons why management are shite. They just can't work out how to save money either. They made a postie redundant at a local sorting office recently in order to re-arrange the rounds and make do with one less postie.
Sounds good?
Nope. That particular postie was nine months away from retirement. The redundancy package he got was nearly two years wages. So, had they waited for the postie to retire they wouldn't have had to pay out the redundancy package therefore saving about fifteen months of wages. This sort of shit goes on all of he time too, it's by no means an isolated incident of fuckwittedness.
Finally the government have done a load to flush Royal Mail down the crapper too. For years, the Royal Mail pension fund was profitable. Someone decided that he needed to raid that in order to spunk it all up the wall (hint, he's running the country). So, now Royal Mail is faced with a multi billion pension fund deficit. Meanwhile Mr Brown just shrugs his shoulders and says "meh."
Deregulation of the mail industry is taking it's toll too. In order to open up the mails market to competition (something that the EU told us all to do but most European nations seem to be ignoring, funny that) Royal Mail was ordered to deliver mail from other companies. Companies that are able to cherry-pick the most profitable mail routes and customers and aren't burdened by the universal service obligation that Royal Mail is. To add insult to injury, the price that Royal Mail charges these companies is set by the postal regulator and that price is set slightly lower than the cost of delivery. Nice one!
Then we come to Lord Mandleson. Despite his assurances that the Post Office network will be given more government work to do, we're actually getting less and less. The TV licence went to someone else a few years ago. Car taxes are being so heavily promoted tat you can do them online, you can barely make out the text that says you can do them at most Post Offices. Pensions and benefits used to account for a huge swathe of our income. Not no more. In the drive to get people to have them paid into their bank accounts, loads of people were not given the option of a Post Office Card Account. Even now, some job centres are refusing to issue the paperwork to open these accounts as they believe that they're being phased out next year.
Nope, it's not being phased out, it's just changing. We all knew this nearly a year ago. So why has this message not been passed onto the appropriate agencies?
Well, take your pick, conspiracy or incompetence. Both are just as likely.
The annoying thing is that Royal Mail and Post Office ltd are great assets to this country and run properly have a massive positive effect and can generate huge income. Sadly no one can be bothered or is competent enough to do anything other than manage the decline of this company.
Rant over. Normal service will be resumed soon when I write about how much customers are stupid and that they irritate me.
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
What Do Double Yellow Lines Mean?
They don't mean that it's ok to park there provided that you leave your hazard warning lights on.
They don't mean that it's ok to park there if you're "just popping in to the post office for a moment."
They don't even mean you can park there if you're picking up a large parcel that you can't other wise carry the 50 whole yards to the free and usually half empty car park.
They especially don't mean that you can park on them, get in every one's way and then pull off without looking and knock some young lad off his bike, don't bother getting out of the car and get your husband (who had walked here) to shout at the old woman who was helping up the lad who you knocked over and don't seem to give a shit about.
Now, bearing in mind that double yellow lines mean "NO PARKING" and everyone who has a driving licence knows this full well, why when someone has just done one of the things listed above and then gets a ticket do they feel the need to moan at me about it?
My favourite line they spout when they've been caught is "why aren't these people" (the PCSO's who issue the tickets) "out catching real criminals instead?"
Well, several reasons.
First of all is the fact that parking tickets are good money spinners for the local council/police authority/whoever collects the fines.
Secondly, PCSO's aren't proper coppers so the most serious crime they can realistically do something about it parking offences.
Finally, correct me if I'm wrong here but parking on double yellow lines is kind of against the law. Therefore that makes you a criminal and given that you don't appear to be imaginary, I reckon that makes you a "real criminal." Precisely the type of person that you're imploring that the pretend rozzers to catch.
I would also like to point out, for the record, that I couldn't give a fuck. You were clearly parked illegally and you got caught. Now would be the time to do the honourable thing and hold your hands up and admit that you done wrong. Moaning to me isn't going to achieve anything apart from getting you even shittier service from me next time you're in. As much as I might nod along and grunt in a non-committal way, I don't agree. You've clearly been a lazy tosser who couldn't be bothered to walk an additional 50 yards and you got caught. Good.
Frankly, I'd like to have the power to issue parking tickets. If someone parked illegally outside and came in to pick up a parcel, it's be nice to take their collection card, go out the back door, run round to the front, write the ticket, come back in with the parcel and then hand it to the customer and tell them that they seem to have gained a parking ticket in the meantime. That'd be fucking excellent.
And a special mention to that bitch who knocked that kid of his bike.
You fucking bitch.
I had great pleasure in getting the images of you off the CCTV camera and passing that on to the filth. They didn't even need to ask. I was showing my community spirit. And you know what? Sometimes virtue really is it's own reward.
They don't mean that it's ok to park there if you're "just popping in to the post office for a moment."
They don't even mean you can park there if you're picking up a large parcel that you can't other wise carry the 50 whole yards to the free and usually half empty car park.
They especially don't mean that you can park on them, get in every one's way and then pull off without looking and knock some young lad off his bike, don't bother getting out of the car and get your husband (who had walked here) to shout at the old woman who was helping up the lad who you knocked over and don't seem to give a shit about.
Now, bearing in mind that double yellow lines mean "NO PARKING" and everyone who has a driving licence knows this full well, why when someone has just done one of the things listed above and then gets a ticket do they feel the need to moan at me about it?
My favourite line they spout when they've been caught is "why aren't these people" (the PCSO's who issue the tickets) "out catching real criminals instead?"
Well, several reasons.
First of all is the fact that parking tickets are good money spinners for the local council/police authority/whoever collects the fines.
Secondly, PCSO's aren't proper coppers so the most serious crime they can realistically do something about it parking offences.
Finally, correct me if I'm wrong here but parking on double yellow lines is kind of against the law. Therefore that makes you a criminal and given that you don't appear to be imaginary, I reckon that makes you a "real criminal." Precisely the type of person that you're imploring that the pretend rozzers to catch.
I would also like to point out, for the record, that I couldn't give a fuck. You were clearly parked illegally and you got caught. Now would be the time to do the honourable thing and hold your hands up and admit that you done wrong. Moaning to me isn't going to achieve anything apart from getting you even shittier service from me next time you're in. As much as I might nod along and grunt in a non-committal way, I don't agree. You've clearly been a lazy tosser who couldn't be bothered to walk an additional 50 yards and you got caught. Good.
Frankly, I'd like to have the power to issue parking tickets. If someone parked illegally outside and came in to pick up a parcel, it's be nice to take their collection card, go out the back door, run round to the front, write the ticket, come back in with the parcel and then hand it to the customer and tell them that they seem to have gained a parking ticket in the meantime. That'd be fucking excellent.
And a special mention to that bitch who knocked that kid of his bike.
You fucking bitch.
I had great pleasure in getting the images of you off the CCTV camera and passing that on to the filth. They didn't even need to ask. I was showing my community spirit. And you know what? Sometimes virtue really is it's own reward.
I'm Not a Pervert But....
When a pretty lady sends back some underwear to a mail order company, I can't help but want to open it up and have a good look.
Just a look mind. I did say I wasn't a pervert.
Unless she's really fit.
Just a look mind. I did say I wasn't a pervert.
Unless she's really fit.
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Smartstamp? My Arse.
Smartstamp is fast becoming a real pain in my arse. Or, more specifically, a pain in my wallet.
Smartstamp is a service that enables users to print barcoded labels off at home and use them instead of stamps to send items.
This means that if you use smartstamp, you pay Royal Mail direct as you no longer need to buy stamps/postage labels at my post office.
Yay, less work for me!!!
Well, no.
Most of the people who use smartstamp are ebay users. They also know that if what they send goes missing, they're a bit buggered without a proof of posting. Which means that the customer still has to queue up in the post office and processing these takes nearly as long as selling the postage labels would do but the main difference is that I don't get a bean from it.
Thanks Royal Mail. It's all well and good giving the customer the chance to buy stamps online but it's actually no real time saver for them. I sincerely doubt that this has persuaded a single person to use Royal Mail rather than a courier (which is the justification, as well as customer convinience (Hah!), for actually providing the service).
Bloody tight fisted wankers. Don't they realise that, espicially during this lovely recession, a lot of post offices are on the verge of closure anyway and with the reduction in revenue thanks to this brainwave are going to close. Once another round of post offices close, the one major plus point that we have (ie. there being a shit load of post offices everywhere) is gonna go down the crapper and it won't take long for a domino effect to occur. Less posts offices means that less other companies are going to use us (eg. bill payments, etc.) so less people are gonna come in so more post offices will close.
It really winds me up that the short term advantage offered by this product will be more than balanced out by a long term fucking up of the whole network. Possibly a bit exaggerated but I'm annoyed.
It winds me up more that I'm still doing 90% of the work by taking these parcels in but not getting paid for them.
Apologies for the lack of funny but,
Hnnnnnggghhh. Tossers.
Also, can the Royal Mail manager who wanted to bollock me for a fuck up caused by one of her colleagues, not me, try talking to me and not just bitch about it in front of the posties. It might have been nice to get my side of the argument before ranting about me. Fuckwit.
Smartstamp is a service that enables users to print barcoded labels off at home and use them instead of stamps to send items.
This means that if you use smartstamp, you pay Royal Mail direct as you no longer need to buy stamps/postage labels at my post office.
Yay, less work for me!!!
Well, no.
Most of the people who use smartstamp are ebay users. They also know that if what they send goes missing, they're a bit buggered without a proof of posting. Which means that the customer still has to queue up in the post office and processing these takes nearly as long as selling the postage labels would do but the main difference is that I don't get a bean from it.
Thanks Royal Mail. It's all well and good giving the customer the chance to buy stamps online but it's actually no real time saver for them. I sincerely doubt that this has persuaded a single person to use Royal Mail rather than a courier (which is the justification, as well as customer convinience (Hah!), for actually providing the service).
Bloody tight fisted wankers. Don't they realise that, espicially during this lovely recession, a lot of post offices are on the verge of closure anyway and with the reduction in revenue thanks to this brainwave are going to close. Once another round of post offices close, the one major plus point that we have (ie. there being a shit load of post offices everywhere) is gonna go down the crapper and it won't take long for a domino effect to occur. Less posts offices means that less other companies are going to use us (eg. bill payments, etc.) so less people are gonna come in so more post offices will close.
It really winds me up that the short term advantage offered by this product will be more than balanced out by a long term fucking up of the whole network. Possibly a bit exaggerated but I'm annoyed.
It winds me up more that I'm still doing 90% of the work by taking these parcels in but not getting paid for them.
Apologies for the lack of funny but,
Hnnnnnggghhh. Tossers.
Also, can the Royal Mail manager who wanted to bollock me for a fuck up caused by one of her colleagues, not me, try talking to me and not just bitch about it in front of the posties. It might have been nice to get my side of the argument before ranting about me. Fuckwit.
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Snap Judgments
Like most people, I tend to appraise my customers as soon they come through the door and then make assumptions very quickly about them. Thanks to years of experience and a massive intellect, I'm usually correct. These assumption are then used to try to tailor whatever I'm going to try to sell to that customer. There's no point trying to flog a credit card or savings account to some dole scrounging pikey. In fact, there's very little chance of selling anything to some of those customers for two reasons:
1. I don't sell booze and fags.
2. They don't tend to buy stuff, they just take it.
The particular snap judgement I'm going to blog about here is one that I never actually had confirmed as right but I'd be willing to bet a fairly substantial sum that it was totally correct.
A morbidly obese woman waddled in the other day. She was clutching a parcel. I sent it off for her, did the usual transaction spiel and then she waddled over to the sweets counter and grabbed two fuck-off huge bars of chocolate and a large bag of sweets. This was rounded off with an oh so predictable bottle of diet coke.
So far, so normal.
The one thing that stuck out as being a bit unusual was the parcel she was sending. It was a mail order return to a fitness company.
Now, I'm guessing that she wasn't sending it back as she'd worn it out through over use. More likely she was returning it cos the very fact that she owned it didn't make her lose any weight.
Was I right or what?
1. I don't sell booze and fags.
2. They don't tend to buy stuff, they just take it.
The particular snap judgement I'm going to blog about here is one that I never actually had confirmed as right but I'd be willing to bet a fairly substantial sum that it was totally correct.
A morbidly obese woman waddled in the other day. She was clutching a parcel. I sent it off for her, did the usual transaction spiel and then she waddled over to the sweets counter and grabbed two fuck-off huge bars of chocolate and a large bag of sweets. This was rounded off with an oh so predictable bottle of diet coke.
So far, so normal.
The one thing that stuck out as being a bit unusual was the parcel she was sending. It was a mail order return to a fitness company.
Now, I'm guessing that she wasn't sending it back as she'd worn it out through over use. More likely she was returning it cos the very fact that she owned it didn't make her lose any weight.
Was I right or what?
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