Me so funny!!!

I crack me up sometimes, I really do. Just a moment ago, a young and attractive lady needed to post a letter to Spain. It just so happened to cost 69p. As the stamp was all she needed, I said to her:

"69 please."

Hahahaha.

Boy, was the smile wiped off my face when she vaulted over the counter, whipped my trousers off, had a good nosh while shoving her minge in my face.*

It does however bring me to the other things that are said on a regular basis that sound a bit rude. Even though I don't deliberately say things which are ruder than they need to be.** Some of these phrases are:

"Put it in all the way."

"It's too big for that, try the other hole."

"I'll take it in the oher end."

"That's a large package."

"Push it in harder."

"Suck my balls."***

Sometimes it's like Carry On Postman in here. Snurk-snurk.


* Not even remotely true.
** Also not true
*** Actually true. Used when the staff ask for something above and beyond the norm, ie. holiday, time off ill, wages etc.