I had the huge misfortune of serving one of our regulars today. He's always been a bit of a stinker but has clearly taken the sport of being a smelly bugger to olympian levels. He exuded a very strong and very complex aroma. After much wine-ponce type analysis I've finally come up with the best way to describe the stench.
Take 3 pints of fat man sweat.
Add 1 pint of horse sweat.
Add 1 pint of 3 day old piss.
Add an average size dog poo.
Liquidize a well done steak that's been left in a hot and humid place for a month and add that.
Mix well.
Leave to fester for a week.
Place in a bucket and insert head.
And the scariest thing about this? He runs a hotel in a nearby village. I hope his attitude towards the hotel's cleanliness is a bit better that his attitude to personal hygiene. Repeat business must suck.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment