Regulars - Mr Dazed and Confused

Mr D and C is yet another of our older customers. He manages to take being a dithery old twat who hasn't got a clue to new levels without having any form of dementia or anything. He's just naturally fuckwitted.

Case in point, a while ago we had a petition regarding the desicion to close the Post Office card account. This is the account that coffin dodgers, dole dossers and benefit cheats get their money paid into*. Anyhoo, we were asking the oldies if they'd sign it. Mr D and C did. However, he got the wrong end of the stick and thought it was a petition about closing my Post Office. We didn't realise this until a little bit later when we saw that he was waiting outside, telling people to sign the petition otherwise the Post Office would be closed. I went out and put him straight.

"It's not the Post Office that's closing, it's the account that your pension is paid into."

"I see."

"Could you stop telling people that this Post Office is closing then?"

"Yes."

Ten minutes later, a customer asked to sign the petition because the old bloke outside had told him that we were closing down. Another trip outside and another friendly word later.

"I see."

"Are you sure? It's the pension account you have that might be closed. NOT the Post Office."

"I see."

I think you can probably see where this is going. Doddery old twat. After another chat 20 minutes later I decided to give it up as a bad job. We got a shit load of signatures for that petition. It might even have guilt tripped a few people into using the Post Office when they might not otherwise have done. It's a very irritating way of possible getting a few extra sales though.

Throughout the whole proceedings (and indeed, throughout his whole life) Mr D and C had a fairly vacant looking grin on his face. It pretty eloquently says "I don't really understand what's going on but I'm quite happy about it."

He also has a really annoying habit of trying to get me to say "I'm free" a la John Inman. So far it hasn't worked. He attempts it every fucking time he comes to the counter. Still, it's probably a fresh joke every time to him. I don't mind engaging in a bit of repetitive banter with some of my customers but there are limits


* In the interest of fairness and balance and that, not all people who use the card account fall into the catergories listed. One or two of them don't.