Regulars - Daisy again

There's just no hope for some folk. Seriously, they haven't got a clue. Sorry to get all right wing and nostalgic for a (likely untrue) glimpse at the past but in practically any era but our own a vast cross section of the populace wouldn't have survived into child bearing age. And a good thing too for a lot of these imbecilic mouth breathers. When I rule the world (it will happen, running a post office is just step number 417 in my 53,890 step plan for world domination. It's progressing according to plan thanks for asking. And you needn't worry too much, the very fact that you're reading this shows that you're withing the demographic that will be amongst the ruling elite due to your obvious taste, intelligence and sense of humour) such oxygen thieves will be wiped out.

Frankly, I've kinda lost my thread here with the thoughts of my military junta and exactly what's gonna happen when I'm in charge. Suffice to say it will rule. As will I.

Oh yeah, Daisy.

For the past few weeks she's been bothering us more than normal. She applied for a loan from the DWP for £1,000. We know all this because she can't read and we happen to be the local muggins reading centre for illiterate morons. We've been reading all her correspondence for her. Although a loan for a grand was denied, she was granted a loan of £800 and for the repayments to come straight out of her benefits every week.

Sadly, we weren't able to find out on why she "needed" the loan as that might have been interesting. As previously mentioned, she gets practically everything paid for her anyway so what does she need a grand for?

Ever since she heard that she was going to get the £800, she's been coming in every day at opening time to check to see if the money had been paid in. She was expecting it to be in the account the day after she sent off the application. She was a bit hopeful really. Surely years of being at the mercy of the DWP for all of her adult life she'd know how crap they are. (And probably a few other government agencies too due to her being a dodgy, pikey retard.)

Anyway, after only two and a half weeks the money is put in her account. This is surprisingly quick for the DWP. Daisy is delighted and says hat it's like winning the lottery.

Really?

Getting a loan for £800 is the same feeling as winning big on the lottery?

It's good to see her aim high in life.

Anyway, the money was transferred into her savings account where, according to Daisy, it was going to stay.

A week later and the savings account and the card account are completely empty. We were curious to find out where all this money had gone and have managed to piece together a few details translated from what Daisy told us when she was taking the money out and some assumptions.

At least two hundred quid went on one of her kids birthdays. Exactly what she bought is unknown but I'm guessing that most of it was frittered away.

Another hundred quid was taken out so she and family could go to the local carnival. Frankly, I'd find it difficult to spend £20 at this event so £100 must have taken some doing. Needless to say she did it though as she came in the Monday afterwards to get her weekly benefits fix. I'm guessing that a lot of it was spent in the beer tent.

The remainder was probably frittered away on shite and booze. We weren't too sure about the booze until we saw her fella walking past with a bottle of Stella on the go. Pretty pikey behaviour already and then we noticed that it was not even 10:30 in the morning. No wonder they're spunking the money away at a rate of knots. It also explains why Daisy has the occasional black eye. It just goes to show how poor a grasp on money these people have. If you're going to be a pikey alcoholic existing on benefits then at least drink cheaper booze. What's wrong with Special Brew or tramp strength cider? Nope, these cretins clearly have ideas above their stations.

From the behaviour of this family, I've managed to work out why some people are poor.

It's because they are too lazy to work and too stupid to hold on to any money that does come their way.

FACT!!!!