The customer is always desperate for cash.

In a tradition nealy as old as the Queen giving out Maunday money to pensioners, we have to give out a heck of a lot of dough on Maunday Thursdays. Pensions and other benefits are almost always paid out on Mondays or Thursdays. As the natural instinct of your average coffin-dodger is to get their pension as soon as possible we're usually pretty busy most Thursday and Monday mornings anyway. However, as we're closed on Monday all benefits that would normally be due then have actually been paid in today. Yay! A double whammy of piss-drenched, senile money grabbing oldies and benefit cheats!* Just what we like. What is it with these people? Why are they so desperate to get their hands on this cash? It's not like they're living hand to mouth and need all of it as soon as they can get it. Some of them (this is not an exaggeration) have difficulty closing their wallets because they've got so much cash in them. Yet still, as soon as the cash is in their account, they gotta have it. Perhaps they're gonna spend it in all of the shops that are closed over the weekend. Hmmm maybe not.

Old people, I don't think I'll ever understand them until I am one.


*Actually, only one benefit cheat that I know about. You know who you are. Yes, you. The one that drives the 200 yards or so from your house and parks on the double yellow lines outside every saturday to cash you cheque so you can go and spunk it away on booze, fags and, judging by the size of you, ALL the pies. And it's only 30 odd quid. I mean, for fucks sake, if it's not popped through letterbox by 11:00 then there's no need for you to come down and hassle me to see if it's been delayed. Jesus, go without until Monday you money grasping bitch. You're not that hard up you know. And your husband too. Don't get me started on that oxygen thief. I know he's apparently got some rare problem with his back that stops him from doing any work at all but how come he works as a handy man for one of the local business? I bet he's not told anyone about that has he? Is it really fair that he earns more than a lot of honest, hard working people for sitting around on his fat arse, shoving pies and fags in his fat face while lying about his "disability"? Is it? Is it??? No, it isn't. I hope you feel ashamed of yourselves. I bet you don't though. Fuckers. Send 'em to the work house until they buck their ideas up.