Top Deaths

Considering that most old people are a fall away from shuffling off this mortal coil, they are obsessed with death. Most notably, the death of their peers.

Sadly, one of my colleagues seems to share this morbid fascination.

As soon as one of the coffin-dodgers ceases to dodge the coffin, there's a mad rush to tell as many people in as excrutiating and unnecessary detail as possible. And once the initial news of the death has been disseminated, then there's al of the gossip about the wills, the funeral or any skeletons the deceased may have in their closets.

At times, it's like listening to a bunch of kids playing top trumps as they try to outdo each other with details regarding the stiff.

"Ooooh, did you hear about Doris?"

"Doris? No. What about Doris?"

"She died last night."

"Last night? Really? What happened?"

"Oooh, well, it's not for me to gossip, but she had a stroke."

"A stroke, yes. Well, I never."

"Yes, it was terrible. Her husband is soooooo upset."

"Upset, yes. Well, have you heard about Mavis."

"No. Is she OK?"

"OK, yes. No."

"Ooooh, what's wrong with Mavis?"

"Mavis, yes. She finally succumbed to her backside cancer."

"Oooh, Really."

"Really, yes. Whatever will happen to her pussy?"

And so on and so on. Often until one of the conversationalists dies themselves mid scentence and the whole cycle begins anew.