Fuck You Karma

It's now obvious that there is a mysterious Karmic force in this universe and it's also obvious that it reads this blog.

My first customer today (first, Mr Karma is nothing if not punctual) was the very worst card insertion offender it's ever been my misfortune to serve.

After nine (Yes, nine. I counted them) failed attempts to put the card in I managed to finally direct her so that the card was actually in the correct orientation to go in. I told her that it was now correct and she should now insert the card. The card was hovering literally millimeters from the slot and then the stupid old bitch turned it upside-down for no fathomable reason (well, that she's a total fucking twat who wasn't listening to the words that were coming out of my face is a reason I suppose).

Let's try again.

She got the card ready, pointing the right way and then turned it upside-down again at the last second again.

Drastic action required now.

The penultimate resort for this situation was then attempted. This very, very, very rarely fails. I asked her to pass me the card. I turned it round and gave it back to her with strict instructions to hold onto it where I pointed and not to turn it around or over and just put it straight into the slot.

SUCCESS!!!!

She even managed to get the number right first time.

Then she pulled out another card.

Now, you'd hope that having inserted a card correctly (albeit with more help than anyone should ever need) not twenty seconds ago, she shouldn't have any problems putting the second one in correctly. What do you really think the chances of that happening are?

Fuck all as it turns out.

After only six incorrect attempts (my pataience at this point was running out faster than a Frenchman at a battlefield) to get the card in I tired the same trick with getting her to hold on to a specified part of the card seeing as that strategy work last time. Clearly, she didn't think she'd wasted enough of my time and immediately turned the card upside-down and swapped it to her other hand.

Try again.

Same result.

In the end I had to ask my colleague who was shop-side to put the card in for her before I lost my temper at this prolonged display of total fucking idiocy.

Frankly I think it should be a condition of the card account that if you're too stupid to insert the card without too much instruction then you're clearly too stupid to be allowed to have any money. Someone that dim is probably only going to eat the cash or something anyway so why drain the nation's coffers allowing such sub-human intelligence to continue. With pensioners, it's too late to stop 'em breeding and buggering up the next generation but there's a lot of young people who are nearly that dim.

I depsair sometime, I really do.