I'm Sorry, We're Closed. Now Fuck Off!

Some customers just can't take a hint. One such idiot visited my Post Office last Saturday.

Regrettably (or not) he turned up at twenty-five to one, five minutes after we has closed. I'd had a busy morning and so I needed to do a few end of day jobs that usually get done in the last half hour but because of all the inconsiderate bastards coming in at the last minute I needed to stay at work a bit later to finish 'em all off.

Now, the hints were there. The door was locked, the sign read closed, the lights were switched off, the shop was empty (apart from me obviously) and once he'd knocked on the door I shook my head at him and mouthed "We're closed."

Clearly this wasn't enough for this particular shit-wit.

He proceeded to stand there like a twat for the next eight minutes (I timed it).

There was no way I was going to go to the door and tell him that I wasn't going to open up as I guessed he wouldn't be too happy at that and, season of goodwill and all, I didn't want to have to be rude to him in order to spell it out that we were closed.

While he was standing out there, one of the posties rode past and said that the post office was closed. The idiot's reply was "You don't have to tell me that." Oh really? Well, why was he still standing there?

Eight minutes later, the penny finally dropped and he buggered off. He obviously had been riled by the pointless wait as he got back in his car and tyre squealed off.

A further ten minutes passed and he returned. If I was unlikely to open the door previously, then there was nooooooo chance that I'd open it later. However, picking up his parcel wasn't his motive for returning.

He got out of his car, came over to the door and stuck a piece of paper to it. On closer inspection (when he'd gone again obviously) it turned out that it said "And a happy Christmas to you too".

There are several things wrong with his behaviour. Firstly it transpired that even if I had opened the door for him, his parcel hadn't been returned by that time anyway.

It also turned out that he'd hassled another postman earlier to try to get his parcel and moaned that he'd spent extra money to get it delivered on a Saturday and he desperately needed it. Well, if it was that important, why the fuck didn't he wait in for it?

Why did he feel the need to wait outside for so long? He should have take the hints and fucked off as soon as he realised that we were closed.

Finally, exactly what did he think he was going to achieve with that childish little note on the door? Did he think that he's going to get better service next time he's in? I bloody well hope not as he's in for another disappointment. As I know who he is and where he lives, I'm going to go out of my way to make sure that he gets shittier service next time he's in.

So, the moral of this tale is that if you act like a cunt to shop/post office people, we will remember you and we will have our revenge. It may be subtle but it will happen. It's amazing just how bad a service I can provide while still staying well within the rules.